


Numbness

by HeavyDirtySoulIsHoldingOnToYou



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-09
Updated: 2017-04-09
Packaged: 2018-10-17 00:24:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10582569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavyDirtySoulIsHoldingOnToYou/pseuds/HeavyDirtySoulIsHoldingOnToYou
Summary: It was like he was having an outer body experience as he climbed over the railing. Tyler hadn’t made a conscience decision to do this today but now that he was he had never felt more at peace.Tyler thought to all the people in his life that he cared about.His mom. His dad. Zack. Jay. Madison. Josh.





	

 

Tyler felt numb. He had since he had woken up six days before and all he was doing was going through the motions.

Get out of bed. Go to bathroom. Use bathroom. Go back to bedroom. Get dressed. Go downstairs. Eat food. Pretend to listen to his parents. Nod or shake his head. Leave the house. Get on the bus. Go to school. Keep to himself. Avoid his friends. Come home. Eat dinner. Go to his room. Write. Sleep. Repeat.

As soon as he got downstairs he walked into the kitchen where his family were eating breakfast. He went to the cupboards and grabbed a bowl before walking over to the cutlery draw for a spoon. Tyler then walked over towards the table where his family were all smiling and happy while eating their cereal, he sat down in the last seat and poured the cereal into the bowl and then the milk.

Tyler put the spoon into the bowl and scooped up some of the cereal and brought it to his mouth, still not paying any attention to what he was eating while his family were happily chattering away to each other.

That’s how the rest of breakfast went for Tyler. Scoop up cereal. Bring it to his mouth. Force himself to chew the tasteless food. Pretend to listen to his family. Fake a smile. Repeat.

After breakfast everyone was getting ready for their days. Rushing around trying to find things that they had lost. While Tyler just grabbed his bag and walked out the house, leaving the chaos behind him.

Tyler was in that much of a daze that he didn’t even realised that he had walked past the bus stop. He was just walking around in a daze with no destination in mind, ignoring everyone around him and looking down at his own feet as he walked so that he didn’t have to look at anyone. Didn’t have to look at anyone and see the life that would still be in their eyes, the life that his own eyes had been lack for quite a while now.

After walking around aimlessly for a few hours Tyler stopped dead in his tracks where he took notice to where his feet had carried him. 

He was standing on an empty bridge.

Tyler wandered over to the side of the bridge and leaned to look over the edge to look down at the river flowing beneath. 

He pulled out his notebook to flick through the pages of his poetry. He then place it on the floor.

It was like he was having an outer body experience as he climbed over the railing. Tyler hadn’t made a conscience decision to do this today but now that he was he had never felt more at peace. 

Tyler thought to all the people in his life that he cared about.

His mom. His dad. Zack. Jay. Madison. Josh.

His mind stuck on Josh the longest. They had been friends from the moment they met, Tyler had never felt so comfortable around someone like that before. He felt like he could tell Josh anything and he wouldn’t judge him.

Tyler was helpless against the smile that crossed his face at the memory of Josh smiling at him. It was like he had seen the sun for the first time after being stuck in the dark for so long, and it felt the same no matter how many times he saw it. He was sad that he hadn’t been able to Josh that he loved him before this day and that’s when he got an idea.

Tyler shoved his hand in his pocket to grab his phone. When he finally managed to get his hands on it he went into his contacts and it didn’t take long to find the one he was searching for.

**_Jishwa_ **

_ Ring… _

_ Ring… _

_ Ri- _

“Hey Ty!” 

Tyler grinned at the sound of Josh’s exuberant voice as tears slipped from his eyes. He hadn’t cried in days, he hadn’t been able to. It seemed like after the first couple of day he had ran out of tears to cry.

“Hi Jish.” Tyler said, wincing at the croaky sound of his voice. He cleared his throat and was pleased when his voice sounded normal when he continued to speak. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

“Yeah?” Josh asked before pausing for a moment. “Are you okay Tyler?”

That right there was one of the reasons that Tyler loved Josh. No matter how much he pretended to be fine, no matter how convincing he was Josh was always able to see through the mask. He was always able to see the pain that Tyler was in and he tried everything to make him feel better. And sometimes he did manage to make Tyler feel better, sometimes he made Tyler feel on top of the world. But the times Josh couldn’t managed Tyler could see how much it hurt him and he knows that it made Josh like he failed. That’s one of the reason that he’s doing this, Josh won’t have to feel like he’s letting Tyler down, he won’t have to deal with the burden anymore.

Tyler must have been quiet for a while because he heard Josh’s voice through the phone talking to him.

“Tyler where are you?” Josh asked desperately. 

Tyler looked around himself to try and recognise his location and after a moment he realised where he was.

“I’m at the bridge near your place.” Tyler answered before turning back to look at the water below him.

He could hear the wind blowing through the phone as Josh ran and he could barely make out the sound of hit feet hitting the ground.

“Josh can you still hear me?” Tyler asked gripping the phone in his grasp tightly, hoping that Josh was still holding the phone to his ear.

Luck must have been on Tyler’s side since he got a reply instantly.

“Yeah I can still hear you Tyler. I’m on my way okay? Please don’t do anything.” Hearing the desperation in Josh’s voice sent a pang to Tyler’s heart.

“You know you’re the only person who makes me feel like I can smile anymore. Actually lately you’re the only one who makes me feel anything. You’re the only reason I made it this far. I just wanted to thank you, since you’ve been in my life I’ve been able to actually feel happy and I never thought I would.” Tyler paused for a moment before sighing.”You actually made me feel something else I never imagined I would. I love you Josh, I love you so much and I just thought that you should know.”

That was when Tyler heard the gasping breath’s coming from the other end of the phone. He couldn’t tell if it was from running or if Josh was crying, but he found out when Josh began speaking.

“Ty-Tyler” Josh hiccupped out through his tears. “Tyler pl-pl-please-”

Tyler interrupted him before he could continuing, wanting to get it all out before Josh managed to get to him.

“I’ve wondered what I had done right because I must have done something right to be blessed with having you in my life. Goodbye Josh, I love you.” 

“Tyler wait!” Was all Tyler heard when he closed the phone.

He shoved his phone back into his pocket before contemplating the water flowing below him. It looked so peaceful and serene, you wouldn’t think looking out at the water that it would be able to kill someone but Tyler knew better.

Tyler closed his eyes for a moment and simply breathed. Just appreciated the feel of oxygen filling his lungs and to feel of exhaling. Breathing didn’t feel so difficult now that he knew that he wouldn’t be doing it for much longer.

Tyler opened his eyes and lifted his foot up and began to step forward that would end every. He could already feel the feeling of peace wash over him.

Just as he was about to take to take the step that would end all of his pain and suffer he felt two strong arms wrap around his waist and pull off the side of the bridge. 

Tyler started thrashing against the arms in a desperate attempt to escape the arms that were holding him back from his chance at peace. 

“LET ME GO! PLEASE LET ME GO!” Tyler screamed, thrashing and kicking at the person.

He didn’t know how long it went on for but his throat was so sore it felt like it should be bleeding but still he wouldn’t be silent.

“Please… please just let me go…” Tyler whispered and before he knew it he was pulled into the person's chest and hugged.

“No because I love you too and I don’t think I could manage without you in my life Tyler.” Josh’s voice whispered into his ear and a kiss was pressed against his temple.

Tears started streaming down his face and he turned around in Josh’s arms to see him and his face was covered in tears. Tyler buried his face into Josh’s neck, trying to hide from the world.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you so much.” Was muttered into his neck over and over again. 

Josh started rocking Tyler side to side while peppering kisses on his head. 

“I’ve got you.” Josh whispered into the Tyler’s hair.

The wind blew open the pages of a notebook and the most recently written page was showing.

_**Numbness** _

_**Numbness spreads throughout my body,** _

_**It begin from my heart,** _

_**It won't stop until it takes me over,** _

_**Until the things and people I love mean nothing.** _

_**The seams of everything fall apart,** _

_**Everything spills out,** _

_**As I don't see the point wasting time,** _

_**trying to fix what is unrepairable,** _

_**So as I try to fix myself for everything I love,** _

_**The stitching is always going to be shoddy.** _

* * *

* * *

**Hey! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it. It's own of my own poems at the bottom in case anyone was wondering hahaha I never know what to say here soooo bye! Stay alive frens |-/**

 


End file.
